Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
