He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
