1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone came in the potted fern
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
