i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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