I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
