what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
