fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
