That's when you crack a 10am beer
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
