I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
