u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
