Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
