I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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