he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
