how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
