I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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