The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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