he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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