I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
