What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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