I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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