I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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