the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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