I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
So. Much. Porn.
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