Your tits are I can't wait for
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
