I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
