She's JV to your varsity
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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