He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
