Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
