Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You don't make any sense
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