Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
