i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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