I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
