We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
