Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
