For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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