I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
