too bad you live with your parents still
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
