i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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