remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
