In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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