i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
