I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it glows. i had to have it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
