just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
