Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
