Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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