JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
