Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
