ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
