i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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