I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
